It’s almost horrifying to see that I haven’t posted anything since April. Self-discipline is something I REALLY need to work on.

So, life has been rather interesting – and busy – these last few months. I was working full-time for a while at the data entry center (as mentioned in the “New Job” post). I say “was”, as I received an email at the tail-end of my recent travels advising me of no work being available. Yes, I was away for 5 weeks, but give over, eh? Thank the Gods I have a partner who’s helping me out or I’d be sinking again. The price I pay for being the “Wandering Pixie”…

In July, I went to Toronto for RushCon 9. I’ve been part of the organizing committee for the past two years and it was good to catch up with my fellow Rush peeps. Notable moments include Chickenman, Random Guy, the Limelight gig, rain & shine on Toronto Island and the surprisingly lovely Michael Mosbach. Although I can’t stand the thought of ever living in Toronto, it does make for a pleasant visit.

Soon, the committee will be meeting to start planning for RushCon 10 next year. There is talk of perhaps holding it somewhere other than Toronto. Whether that comes to pass or not, time will tell, but personally I think it’ll be a good thing. A change of scenery, a breath of fresh air…all that.

On the Vancouver front, I’m now sharing an apartment with my partner. Whilst I do miss my old apartment, my current situation just made it financially untenable. Sharing a one-bedroom place does get a little cramped at times, but it’s working out quite well.

The big event of the last few months was the 5 week trip to the US from late August to early October.  My partner and I travelled together for the first part of it, from Vancouver down to the Oregon Coast, then out to Nevada for the Burning Man festival. Together being somewhat subjective – she drove the camper truck and I travelled in my own car, as I was continuing on with my travels after Burning Man.

Burning Man itself was quite an experience. It was my second burn, having lost my “burn virginity” back in 2006. There were some good moments, including:

• Ranging out into deep playa on my bike.
• Flying my kite in various locations on the playa.
• Meeting up with George & Gloria again. They’re a lovely couple from Texas who come to the burn every year and are famous for their friendliness, hospitality and breakfast pancakes. Indeed, George introduced me (and my ex-partner/friend Kevin) to the concept of Carolan’s in coffee).
• Bumping into Lady Laughter & Calico at the Temple Burn. (Another couple I met in 2006).
• Quiet time and personal tributes to loved ones at the Temple.
• Dancing my butt off at Opulent Temple.
• “Fire Night” – watching a number of fire performances around the playa, including our neighbour Jim from Florida and the Flaming Lotus Girls.
• John – a guy with whom I had a very interesting conversation out near the playa fence.
• The deep playa drumkit and Hippy Guy.
• Painting myself blue and tearing around the playa on Friday afternoon (including my black pixie wings). This was followed later that evening by a clean-up attempt that lead to the shower cubicle being dubbed the “Exploding Smurf Chamber.”
• Self-bondage & the viking helmet.
• Making a contribution at Picasso Camp.
• Taking an accidental swandive off the back of the camper and onto the playa on Friday night, leaving a heck of a playa mark (which I had to remove by hand) and two trips to the Med Tent. Props to November Anne for the initial first aid!
• Lunatics at the Burning Man (which took FOREVER to come down!)
• Random Conversations. This was my partner’s initiative – we couldn’t settle down on the Saturday night, so at about 5am, we went meandering about on the playa, having random conversations with people and polishing off an entire bottle of wine in the process. Definitely one of the highlights of the burn, not to mention that it’s possibly the first time in my life that I’ve been inebriated at eight o’clock in the morning.
• The Temple Burn.

Overall, a mostly positive experience. However, there were the occasional downsides. There was some personal conflict between myself and my partner during the week, not to mention the dust storms from hell. By Friday, the interior of the camper was an absolute dustbowl. Rather than stressing about it, one gets to the point of simply accepting the fact that playa dust is now a part of oneself. You eat it, breathe it, drink it, sleep in it. It’s simply part and parcel of the whole experience.

Despite my still relative newness to the Burn, I did detect a change in the ‘vibe’ of the event since 2006. Part of it may be a result of no longer having the first-timer’s “Wow!” reaction to everything, but I definitely felt a difference. It seemed that the event was being taken over by the candy-raver/tourist/”let’s go out to the desert and party for a week” crowd. Whilst that element has certainly been present at Burning Man for many years now, it seemed to be much more prevalent this year, crowding out the artists and community-builders. Maybe the event is getting too big or too mainstream, but if the trend is not reversed, the artists will go elsewhere and BM will simply become nothing more than a rave in the desert.

Having said that, there is a possibility I will attend again next year. I’ve certainly learned a few lessons from this year’s experience:

• Camper vans are a cool idea, but when the battery runs out, you may as well have hired a cargo van.
• Kite flying is fun!
• Stay away from the blue greasepaint! Maybe the silver powder may come in handy next year…
• Buy half (if not less) the amount of food – we bought WAY too much food! I wound up taking some of it down to New Mexico with me and donating it to Kevin’s pantry.
• Have an IUD implanted by the time the next burn rolls around so I’m not poleaxed with period cramps for the first 3 days (this seems to be becoming a playa tradition for me).
• Take better photos – scout more, get creative and use the damn tripod!

* * *

Following Burning Man and a turbulent night in Reno, I proceeded south via the east side of Nevada. I’ve always wanted to drive the Extraterrestrial Highway and check out Rachel, Nevada, thanks to it’s proximity to Area 51. Ergo, a good time to take the roads less travelled. On the way, I got pulled over near Hawthorne for speeding (all hail the great god Leadfoot?) but got let off with a warning.

Thanks to the late departure from Reno, the light ran out, so I pulled over for the night in Tonopah, Nevada. My accommodation for the night was the amusingly monikered Clown Motel, named for the collection of clown paraphernalia amassed by the original owner. The collection is now arranged in the main lobby area of the hotel. Some cute, some downright creepy. Dinner that night led me to the conclusion that small casino dining is nothing to write home about. Thankfully, the breakfast the next morning was somewhat more palatable.

The road out to Rachel was one of the loneliest highways I’ve ever encountered during my daytime trips in the US. Barely any traffic for miles, which made for a happy wandering pixie! Mostly desert and ranchlands, with the occasional cattle crossing.

I stopped by the Little Ale’Inn. It turned out to be rather cheesy – a lot of overpriced ’souvenirs’ and a few UFO photos and articles. Not quite what I’d expected, really. From there, I went through Las Vegas, saw the Hoover Dam (finally!) and hit I-40 west through Arizona to land at my friend Kevin’s place in New Mexico. Wound up overnighting in Flagstaff after attracting police attention again. This time, though, it was for a dead license plate light, a small problem easily remedied the next morning at the Goodyear shop near the Super 8 motel.

New Mexico is a place that has been rather dear to my wandering self since my first visits way back in 2005. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but there is certainly an energy down there. Maybe it’s the desert landscapes, the mountains (Sandia in particular), the unusual clarity and vividness of the sky, the friendliness of the people…who knows. It’s no mistake that New Mexico has a large population of artists, photographers and other creative types. I’ve said for a long time now that if I had the chance to live in the US, New Mexico is where I would go.

I spent a very pleasant two weeks around the Albuquerque area. Unfortunately, Kevin & I didn’t get to do much together, thanks to his punishing work schedule, but we were able to get away to Santa Fe on the first weekend. The goal of the trip was a day at the Ten Thousand Waves day spa, just the thing I needed after the rigors of Burning Man. A day spent soaking in the tubs, having a wonderful massage and an all-over salt scrub helped to wash the playa away. We timed it pretty well – the Santa Fe Fiesta was happening at the same time. Food stalls, street markets, parades, the town was packed! I was also re-introduced to the joys of New Mexican cuisine at the Blue Corn Cafe, just off the Plaza. I swear, the chili is that good, you walk out feeling high!

Whilst I did spend a fair bit of time on the house front, helping Kevin get his apartment set up, I also took the time to explore the Albuquerque area. Checked out Old Town, the Albuquerque Museum, the Balloon Museum, Petroglyph National Monument and rounded it all off with a trip up to the top of Sandia Peak the day before my departure. Spectacular views over Albuquerque and surrounds, but by the Gods it was COLD! (Note to self: bring a jacket next time).

Refreshed from my New Mexican sojourn, I struck out on what would become the Epic Drive of ‘09, crisscrossing the bulk of the continental US and Canada. On the way…

• I captured a beautiful New Mexican sunset with my camera.
• Had my second speeding warning whilst crossing the Texas panhandle.
• Witnessed the morning mists in Arkansas.
• Got woken up from an afternoon nap attempt by a local high school parade in Kansas City, Missouri. I also went on a fruitless goosechase in downtown Kansas City whilst looking for the Central Public Library. The library carpark is painted to look like books on a shelf, a point of interest to my photographer self.
• Went stomping through mud in sidewalk roadworks whilst taking photos of a church and the Arch in St. Louis, Missouri.

The evening/day I drove from western Ohio to southern New York state would have to rate as one of the all-time driving days from hell. Whilst the lightning storms around Columbus were suitably spectacular, the pounding rain, the endless stream of trucks, roadworks on Interstate 80 and crazy Pennsylvanian drivers made for a rather miserable day. I breathed a massive sigh of relief as I entered New York state and later turned north on I-87.

The primary aim of this part of the trip was to meet and spend time with a dear friend who lives in the top part of the state. We’ve been acquainted for a couple of years, thanks to the magic of cyberspace and phones, but never wound up meeting in person…until now. Even though it was a fairly low-key visit, it was still good to see him and hang out with him. He’s been having rough times for a while now and whilst I do worry for him, I think he’ll be OK eventually. His dog was also an absolute sweetie – barked at me for 5 minutes, then became my new best friend.

I do know this – given the drive that followed, the next trip I take over to that part of the US WILL involve a plane flight to Montreal!

* * *

I’ll be posting pics from various legs of the journey in the coming days & weeks. All I will say for now about the final leg of the journey is this: 3,027 miles – 6 provinces – 93 hours.

Never again!

I’ve been involved with the Vancouver BDSM scene for about a year now, both as a helper and participant. Albeit with two hiatus periods in between.

In that time, I’ve had a number of experiences, mostly positive, a couple with negative aftermaths. That’s the way it rolls, eh? Overall, it’s been good times to date. I’ve been very fortunate to make a number of friends here, some very close, others a little more distant but all people with good hearts and intentions at the end of the day.

I am content with doing my own thing, bopping along as my pixie self is wont to do, at various parties, munches and gatherings. I do hear pieces of gossip and scuttlebutt from time to time, but on the whole I prefer to keep myself apart from the scene politics.

Given what I’ve witnessed in recent times, I’m glad to have taken that path.

When I first became involved, I will confess to having the mildly Pollyanna-esque thought that it would be one big happy kinky community. I was disabused of that notion early on in the piece, but nonetheless thought that a relatively small scene such as Vancouver would ascribe to the principle of “agreeing to disagree” whenever people were at odds with each other, for whatever reason. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Whenever there are a number of groups in existence that have conflicting ideals, goals or visions in place, it would seem somewhat unrealistic to expect everyone to “just get along”. Our own human natures hamstring that particular ideal, yet there is still room for respect for others, cordiality and perhaps even positive inter-communication. Sadly, again, this is not the case.

The amount of venom, childishness and outright attacks on people I have witnessed in reality and virtuality just blows me away. You’d think it’s a hard enough time to exist as kinky peeps in a world where much of what we do can be easily twisted, misinterpreted or appropriated by mainstream society. Yet I see people who should be acting like mature adults running around acting like the proverbial bullying kids in the schoolyard. People are jumped on for voicing an alternative opinion or attacked outright for daring to speak up and call others out on bullshit or to defy the often self-proclaimed authority of a few.

Such behavior is puerile at best, but when it’s gotten to the point where two of my friends have been effectively run off a website and gone to ground in reality…that’s just beyond the fucking pale.

Whatever happened to common decency and respect? Whatever happened to the idea of agreeing to disagree with the opinions of others? Whatever happened to the idea of tolerance, of allowing others to be what they choose to say, or be, for themselves?

Just chill out and grow up.

To those of you who are also witnessing the endless drama, I say: Take heart.

There are good people to be found here. They may be a little quieter, a little less visible, but they are here.

That is all.

Yes, I know – an update is sorely needed. I really need to get back up to speed vis-a-vis photos.

In the meantime, I’m rejoicing, for I am now employed again. Hurrah!

Still in the trial period at the moment, but it’s looking VERY good indeed! The job is evening shift, doing something for which I seem to have a natural talent – data entry. The pay…could be better, but that will come in time. Besides, a job where it’s casual dress, that works in with my natural bio-rhythms and allows me to listen to music whilst I work – it’s groovy for me.

Overall, I’m just relieved to be working again! If all works out with this job, it might just save my Canadian life. Sure, I won’t be living the high life for a while and any travels I do in the near future will be relatively frugal, but better to have some funds coming in the door than nothing at all.

I have to say, I’m feeling a lot better overall these days. After getting the “lose weight” order from my doctor a few weeks ago, I’ve started walking and/or swimming on a regular basis. It’ll take a while for the benefits to kick in fully, but apparently it looks like I’m losing a few pounds already.

Living in the West End has it’s benefits, thanks to the proximity of Lost Lagoon, English Bay and Stanley Park. The rise and fall of the streets also presents an interesting challenge, albeit one that I’m overcoming. My stamina is improving and I’m now at the point where I’m merely breathing heavily (ha ha) after an extended uphill walk. A few weeks ago, it was a case of gasping for air and having to stop every block or so.

On top of that, my kinky side has been relatively neglected of late. Apart from one or two play sessions (one public, one private), I really haven’t been doing much over the last couple of months. To be fair, there have been other issues taking up my time and energy, but I do need to reactivate that part of myself again. Been too long, sayin’? Honestly – if it wasn’t for the plastic container, my rope collection would be full of dust bunnies by now – eek!

Besides, it’s high time I brought some kink ramblings into the mix – without them, the “Travels” aren’t really that “Twisted”, are they?

Still quiet days at the moment, but starting to get better. Last weekend turned out to be a lot of fun and it’s helped to lift my spirits somewhat. I sense a future journal entry in the making…

In the meantime, here’s a few shots taken at Lost Lagoon a few days ago, plus a leftover orange from a preceding breakfast at Joe’s Grill.

After all these years, I’ve finally dived into the deep end of shooting RAW, rather than JPEG. I’ve downloaded a trial version of Adobe Lightroom, which helps with the conversion process.

Enjoy!

So much for getting back to “daily photos”.

It’s been a rough month, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I’ve hit the proverbial brick wall and consequently spent most of February in hermit mode. The madness of the last few months finally caught up with me in a big way. There have been days in a row where I haven’t left my apartment at all.

I’m feeling a general sense of hopelessness about many things at the moment. Losing two jobs after the scooter accident and the resultant medical bills have now left me behind the eight ball financially. Work is very hard to come by in the current economic climate and I’m going backwards in a big way.

As it stands right now, if I don’t get some form of regular work within the next month or so, there is a possibility that I may have to go back to Australia for a while. I’m now living on reserves only, to the point where I’m literally paying to live in Canada. That was not the idea behind me being here in the first place. Living on my own funds whilst travelling is one thing, but not on a day-to-day regular basis. I do want to try and stick it out for a while longer, if I can. Part of it is because I have an apartment lease to consider, but I’m feeling that having to return to Australia in these circumstances would amount to defeat.

I’m also feeling wrung out, mentally and emotionally. There are days where I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I barely recognize myself. I feel empty, a shell of myself, of the Pixie I used to be.

I was going back through pieces of a travel journal I kept during the USA/Canada epic wander of 2005. Looking back at my younger self, s/he was also conflicted, but at least s/he had a sense of hope and energy. I wonder whatever happened to that Pixie…

How it’ll all pan out, I really have no idea at this point. It’s just day by day at this point.

At the very least, I’m starting to make some effort to salvage the 365 project. The four shots below are grabbed from random snaps taken throughout the rest of February.

Some random “365″ shots from late January and early February.

Starting tomorrow, it’s back to daily photos!

Life has a nasty habit of getting in the way of plans from time to time. Not to mention my own habit of taking my eye off the ball…

It’s been a pretty turbulent few weeks. My return trip to Australia stirred up a lot for me, to the point where I’m feeling torn between two countries. “Confusion” isn’t an adequate enough term to describe the inner turmoil that now plagues me. My return to Canada also saw a major life change that served to stir the pot even more.

I’m now at a point where my 20s are almost over. The Wandering Pixie will be turning 5 years old at the end of March. That’s five years of aimlessly meandering around the world, searching for a purpose in life. As much as I’ve learned during that time through the people I’ve met, the places I’ve seen and the travels I’ve done to date, it’s becoming obvious that something has to change.

One of my biggest problems with life, or perhaps one of my failures, is an inability to find a sense of direction. Personally, professionally, the works. I feel as if I’ve just been stumbling along these last few years and not really getting anywhere. To be fair to myself, yes I’ve done a lot (including an international move!) and I’ve got some kick-ass pictures in the process, but I NEED to find a focus.

Suffice to say, 2009 is going to be a turning point for me in a big way.

So…

The Australia trip turned out better than I’d expected in some respects. Got to spend a little time with my dad and his partner (who is most groovy!) before heading down to Victoria to sort out the mess. In a nutshell – got most of my stuff back and sorted out and in the process, reconnected and formed a beautiful friendship with my former partner. Woohoo!

In lieu of the rest of the January “Photos of the Day”, here’s a few random shots from the trip. It’s a random mix of Interstate 5 driving, Australia and Napa Valley…

Made it down to Australia in one piece. Currently wading through and sorting nearly 30 years worth of crap. Yay for my friend in Victoria for being such a good sport about it all!

I haven’t forgotten the 365 photo project, just been flat out since I hit the ground in Australia last Sunday (local time). I’ll be catching up soon, though…

Another post-sunset shot today. I call this one “Leftovers”

Can’t really think too clearly at the moment. On tenterhooks, waiting for funds to come through, the clock is ticking…

Thanks to various distractions today, I lost out on natural light for my Photo of the Day. Ergo, time for a momentary flash of inspiration involving me, my camera and my partner’s bathroom mirror.

I call this one “Under Stress”…

Getting a little anxious and scattered in the lead-up to the Australia trip. My partner says I have nothing to worry about. True, to a degree, but I do have a fair bit to do before I leave. It’s not just mirrors but also the concept of lists that are worth a “hurrah!”. Having a list of “Things to Do” helps one’s state of mind immeasurably.

Yet another snow day in Vancouver. Oh joy. Quite a shame, really, considering the blue skies of yesterday.

Even ‘native Vancouverites’ are amazed at the oddly Canadian wintry weather we’ve been experiencing of late. Vancouver has a reputation for rain rather than snow, the Coastal Mountains being an exception. As I put it to my partner last night, maybe we’re overdue for a true Canadian winter…

What worries me is that I’m supposed to be driving down to San Francisco for my Australian flight in a few days. I can only hope the snow melts in time. I’m already going mildly out of my mind as it is with trip preparations, making lists of things to do before and after I go. It’s bad enough I have to contemplate snow chains, the last thing I need is to get stuck in snow somewhere. Ugh, too much stress!

The snow and grey skies today didn’t really help my mood much. However, it did give me an interesting and abstract Photo of the Day.

One of my major goals for 2009 is to get back into my photography again.

Events over the last few months (scooter accident, constant house-moving, life) drained the creative juices and I’ve gone days, even weeks without touching my cameras. Yes, the “Year of Photos” idea isn’t particularly original, but it’s a good motivator nonetheless.

I had toyed with the idea of a double “365″ project, one set being ‘regular’ photos of everyday scenes, people or objects, with a kinky counterpart. However, best not to push myself too much at this early stage. I’m sure it’s one of the tenets of Sod’s Law that if one tries to attempt too much in one hit, one is inevitably doomed to failure.

As for the rest of it – this is going to be my regular blog for EVERYTHING. Whether I feel like doodling or declaiming about daily life, ruminating on my BDSM experiences or simply jabber about my latest travels, this’ll be where you can find it. Best to keep everything in one spot, no?

Now, without further ado, my first two pics for 2009 – A Year of Photos…