A Redirection

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See you around the traps!

Christchurch

Over the last week or so, I’ve been following the news about the earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand.

In 2004 and 2005, I travelled to New Zealand twice, including visits to Christchurch. I’ve walked through it’s streets. Years later and an ocean away, seeing the state of the city after the quake…there are no words.

Donations can be made online via the New Zealand Red Cross website. More information can be found at the New Zealand Herald website.

The images below are random shots of Christchurch, circa April 2004. My apologies for the poor image quality. These were shot on a 5MP Vivitar, the first digital camera I owned.

Christchurch – April 2004

Statue & the Christchurch Cathedral spire – April 2004

Cathedral Square – April 2004

Waiting for Spring

College is still the main focus of my life at the moment. We’re now well into Semester Two. So far, mostly good. We’ve just started the production of our major class project, Pacific Rim Magazine. The next two months are going to be busy beyond belief!

The major highlight of the last few months was the extended visit of P, my boyfriend from Australia. It was his first overseas trip in about 30 years. During the course of his two month stay, he finally got to see Vancouver (and parts of Vancouver Island), met some of my friends here and witnessed the stress that comes with full-time college studies.

Having P be a part of my life over here for a while served to remind me of how much I miss him. Having one’s partner around on a day-to-day basis is something many people in long-term relationships often take for granted. When there’s long periods of enforced geographic separation between a couple – whatever the reason – it takes a lot to keep things going. Fortunately, for us, all is well and we’re keeping in regular contact. As I type this, we’re planning to meet up in Hawaii sometime in late August, once college is over. That will be a well-deserved vacation!

In other news, Vancouver recently had an unusual bout of freezing weather and snow. I’m hoping it’s the last blast of winter before spring kicks in. Apart from a recent trip to Bloedel Conservatory, I haven’t had many chances to get my camera out and about lately. However, I did grab some snow shots.

Here’s a panoramic view from my apartment of the snow-covered West End:

The aftermath of an overnight snow storm - West End (Vancouver), February 2011

Spring, wherefore art thou?

Winter’s Time

Vancouver’s first snowfall of the winter is falling outside. The white flakes drift, leaving blocks of white on the sidewalks and roads.

2.53am, in front of my computer. Assignments to do, but I feel little motivation to work on them. Inspiration has taken a holiday to sunnier climes. There’s a part of me that wants to let loose and be creative. Deadlines and other requirements hem me in.

End result? I’m frozen. Paralyzed by impending burnout, indecision and a brain that no longer wishes to co-operate.

I’ve barely touched my camera in weeks.

Words no longer come easily, even on the screen. At best, it’s scattered fragments.

I need sleep. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning.

Creative Scatter

It’s after midnight, crossing into Samhain. At least three college assignments, a client project and a bombsite of a bedroom fight for my attention simultaneously. Yet, I have no desire to tackle any of them.

Concentration, focus and motivation have taken an extended vacation, perhaps to sunnier climes? I want to draw, be creative, get my shit together and WORK on stuff, be productive. There is the occasional burst of activity, usually brought on by a rare good moment or an impending deadline (hello, Monday!). Mostly, it’s just the grey buzzing of an overloaded brain. Trying to find inspiration in the world around me. Momentary flashes occur, but the well is dry at the moment. There seems to be no time for anything.

I look out to the drizzly skyline of Vancouver, the lines of Grouse Mountain lost in the haze of rainclouds and darkness. The occasional whistle or bang of fireworks and mischief-makers punctuate the night at random intervals. I want my loved one here with me, not halfway around the damn planet. Yet the phone is dead. Alas, life and it’s choices create random patterns and circumstances. Some make sense, others…what the hell?!

My social skills have deteriorated somewhat in the last couple of months. The mental overload that accompanies my studies – plus the madness that has been 2010 to date – have left me with very little energy and the loss of any ability to coherently express myself in any form. Sometimes I’m reasonably OK, other times I’m a stuttering wreck. I’m more – and want to be more – than what many see, but I’m stuck behind walls. An initial conclusion would point to certain events in the last 12-24 months as sources. The reality is that they are defensive barriers, erected to protect myself. If anyone really knew the full story, they wouldn’t blame me one bit.

I was reading a classmate’s blog earlier this evening. Reading their words struck a chord. I know what they mean, feeling like the proverbial island in the sea of humanity. The fear, the barriers, the money worries, the scattered nature of life as it currently stands. I wish I could say to them, “You’re not alone in feeling like this.” Yet, my current state of social retardation and the arm’s lengths at which we mostly keep each other will prevent that. Damn. Fuck those that hurt others to the point of emotional damage. It is said that karma will even the balance in the end, but there are times where it’s horribly tempting to play the Angel of Justice in this reality.

It’s times like this I’m grateful for dear friends. They know who they are Also, there is one within the professional sphere that is proving to be of great help, more than they know. Having someone take the time to listen and to care, knowing that they get it, they really GET it, even as I stutter to get the words and thoughts out…that’s a rare gift. Knowing that they’ll be willing to listen (and help, if possible) in the future is one little thing that makes these overwhelmingly grey days a tad more bearable.

Three Months Later…

It’s been a crazy three months…

Shortly after my last post, I headed south for my annual summer pilgrimage to the US. Highlights included Arches National Park, a visit with a friend in New Mexico, day trips to Santa Fe, the old Crossroads Diner in Mount Olive, IL and a flying visit to Chicago before crossing the border to Toronto, Canada.

The two Rush concerts went off like frogs in socks, particularly the Molson Amphitheater gig. RushCon Toronto also went well and much fun was had. Being one of the organizers, there was a lot of running around to do both before and during the convention.

Somehow, I had the endurance to go north and west via Highway 1. On the way, I battled the torrential summer storm downpours in Ontario, stopped in at a friend’s for the night in Winnipeg, chased star trail and prairie shots in Saskatchewan and left my driver’s license behind in Canmore, Alberta (more details later).

Upon my return to Vancouver, I collapsed for a few days. Little wonder – driving over 10,000km (6,213 miles) over the course of a month does tend to tire one out.

Here’s a map of the entire route:

View Larger Map

In August, I flew to Las Vegas for another Rush concert and RushCon Vegas. This was the first time we’d held the Con outside of Toronto. New city, new venue, a one-day only event…we were a little nervous about it! It turned out that we didn’t need to worry. The Con was a success! Many new faces, a lot of enthusiasm and so many attendees that we ran out of stars for our Charity Auction!

The Rush concert at the MGM Grand that evening was deemed by many to be one of their best-ever shows. Another spectacular performance by the boys. Following the concert, a couple of Rush friends held a private party in their suite at the MGM Grand. Caught up with some old friends and (finally!) being able to put real-world faces to a couple of names in the virtual world. Good times.

Whilst the Sunday was a relatively chilled out day, I wasn’t able to sleep that night. As a result, I have it on very good authority that I looked like hell at McCarran Airport on Monday morning. Props to C for holding seats for my friend & I on the flight to Denver. I’d sat down in the plane and fell asleep almost immediately – I don’t even remember taking off.

My friend and I landed in Denver, proceeded to our hotel and had a nap before the Rush concert at Red Rocks that night. Despite a number of technical glitches, the boys went off, particularly Alex during  “Working Man”.

May I present the evidence:

Red Rocks itself is a spectacular outdoor venue. If you ever get the chance to see a show there, take it.

During all this Vegas/Denver madness, I’d also returned to college on a part-time basis for Digital Intermediate Photography. Unlike previous studies at Langara, this was an Accelerated summer course. Classes were held twice a week, rather than the standard one. My friend Cindi and I finally got the chance to take a class together!

Overall, I was quite disappointed with this particular unit. I didn’t really click with the lecturer, there was a lot of concepts repeated from the Basic levels and it ultimately turned photography into a chore for me.

During the Basic units, we’d gone shooting on location to places like Granville Island and Vanier Park. I had thought the Intermediate unit would be similar, but upping the ante. For instance, a late afternoon/evening shoot on location with models and lighting (set up by the instructor – can’t do our own lights until we’ve completed Practical Lighting).

Instead, we were stuck on the college campus. I can understand what the lecturer was trying to do, by forcing us to be creative in difficult situations. Such an approach, however, only dimmed my enthusiasm for the subject in general.

On top of that, I’d started full-time studies in Publishing in early September. The last two weeks of Photography clashed with Publishing classes, so I’d be at one class at 6pm, then bolting to Photography for 6.30pm. Yikes! It is not a scenario I recommend to anyone!

The Publishing Diploma is going to be a lot of work, given that it’s a 2 year course crammed into 12 months. Despite the intense workload that lies ahead, it’s going to be fun!

So, that’s the nutshell version of my life over the last 3 months. Much of my time is going to be taken up by college studies until August 2011, so travel will be limited at best. If nothing else, it’ll give me a chance to catch up on posting photos of these journeys…

Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage – A Review

(Note: If you have not had a chance to see the documentary yet, this review may contain spoilers!)

I made my way down to Cinemark Tinseltown in Vancouver at about 6.30pm, for the 7pm showing. Got my ticket and looked around for the RushCon/Rush promo table. Try as I might, I couldn’t find it anywhere, but a few people did have RushCon fliers in hand.

Speaking of RushCon, I bucked the trend of Rush t-shirts somewhat, preferring to don my “Rush fans do it in odd time signatures” t-shirt from RushCon 7. The shirt drew the curiosity of a few people, so I had the chance to tell them about the convention.

I wound up sitting next to a couple, T & J. He was a hardcore Rush fan, she not so much, but she definitely appreciated their musicianship. We had some really good conversation AND they’ll be going to RC in Vegas. Yay!

The lights went down and the screen lit up. What followed was two hours of solid Rush-y goodness and one of the best music documentaries I have ever seen.

Some of the highlights:

• Seeing home movies and photos of the boys in their childhood & teen years.
• The old photos, videos and audio recordings of early Rush performances. (Underwear party, anyone? )
• Hearing the voice of John Rutsey for the first time.
• Watching a young Alex arguing with his parents about his music career. Whilst their concerns about his education were certainly valid, one can only hazard a guess of what might have been if he hadn’t had the guts to follow his dream.
• Amusement at hearing Alex’s & Geddy’s first impressions of Neil (although I think Neil is now well & truly beyond the ‘new guy’ stage).
• The beautiful way that the Ghost Rider period was handled.
• Various talking heads (Billy Corgan, Trent Reznor, Gene Simmons and others expressing their admiration of Rush).
• Seeing a couple of fellow RushCon peeps on the screen, including Christopher Schneberger (Rush roadtrip buddy of 2008)

The only two downsides were Jack Black’s interview and the scant attention paid to the 80′s/90′s period of Rush.

Whilst I have no doubt that Jack Black is a fan, his contributions came off as superfluous, almost nonsensical rambling. I’m also puzzled as to why very little attention was paid to the time between Signals and Vapor Trails. Why skip over almost two decades of the band’s history? If anything, it would have served to dispel the common (and ignorant) image of Rush as “a 70s band who wore kimonos and sang about elves.” Maybe more will be present in the DVD extras?

Overall, it’s a very well made documentary – many kudos to Sam Dunn & Scot McFadyen.

Returning to Tinseltown Vancouver…

Throughout the movie, I listened to fellow patrons laughing in recognition at certain points during the interviews and upon seeing the old photos (complete with kitschy outfits and…interesting fashion sense). Whilst it wasn’t the same level of immediate connection and friendship as can often be found at RushCon, there was still a pervasive feeling of being in a room with people who ‘ged’ it. Those are rare and precious moments, even in the current resurgence of Rush’s popularity.

On the surface, Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage gave me a little more insight into the history of the band and filled in more of the gaps. (The joys of being a younger, late-into-the-fold fan). Ultimately, it served to remind me why I love the music of Rush.

For more information on the documentary: http://www.rushbeyondthelightedstage.com/

For more information about RushCon: http://www.rushcon.org/

Hastings Park…with my new camera!

I can’t believe I haven’t written about this yet: I am now the proud owner of a new camera!

After about four years of faithful service, my old Pentax *istDS started acting up in late 2009. It would take ages to save a photo to the memory card, it performed poorly in low light conditions. Occasionally, the aperture reading would go blank and I would have to shoot blind or Auto and hope for the best. The Pentax got me through my first two Photography units earlier this year, but it became apparent it was no longer capable of the tasks I needed it to do.

In early June, a new addition joined the family: A Canon EOS 50D SLR with a Sigma 18-200mm lens. The first real test of the Canon took place on an outing to the Italian Gardens in Hastings Park, Vancouver, with my friend C. Here are some of the photos from that shoot:

Webcam shot of me and the new camera.

Australia 2010 – a short note

I know I had promised to write a blog post about my trip to Australia earlier this year. Photos as well.

Unfortunately, life has been very busy over the last month or two and time has gotten away from me. As I write this, I’ll be on my way to the US in just over a week and RushCon is about a month away. Ergo, Australia 2010 will either have to wait, or it’ll be one of the first photo galleries constructed on wanderingpixie.com.

It’s times like this that a clone would be really handy!

Busy Times on a Panoramic Planet

It’s been busy times these last couple of weeks. The project that holds most of my attention at the moment is the RushCon Photo Archive. A collection of images from RushCons past, it will be the central ‘herding point’ for any RushCon related photo I can find. So far, I’ve added a bunch of others people’s images (with permission, of course!) as well as selecting and editing some of my own. Not an easy task at the best of times.

Between the RushCon photo project and choosing images for my own website, I’m finding I’m developing a more critical eye when it comes to my photography. No doubt, my recent Photography studies have helped. Cultivating a form of ruthlessness is also an essential component. There are photos that I may have included on the old (now defunct) version of the site, but they are now being filed to the Trash bin. Some are not quite ‘good enough’ but I’m putting them aside for the moment. I may eventually post some of them here.

In closing, I came across the Photoble website this morning and found an interesting tutorial on creating mini panorama planets. As landscapes are one of my favorite forms of photography, I do have a few panoramas hidden in my collection. Some are quite good, others…well, I was still learning at the time!

Here’s my first panoramic planet attempt:

This was a series of shots of the Ottawa River, as seen from Gatineau, QC, that I took back in the summer of 2005. Probably not the greatest example of a panoramic, due to fluctuating lighting levels, but it’s a start. I’m going to play with this idea a little more and see what else I can produce!

Photos – Vancouver Aquarium

A few days after my 30th birthday, I made my first ever visit to the Vancouver Aquarium (courtesy of my friend C). We had a great afternoon wandering through the exhibits and shooting with our cameras.

I found this particular shoot to be quite a challenge. My Pentax *istDS is now almost 5 years old and it’s beginning to show it’s age. Also, the camera’s performance in low-light situations has often been touch-and-go, at best. Without the use of a tripod – as was the case in this shoot – I often wing it and hope for the best. Whilst low light issues can be resolved by boosting the ISO, my pictures start developing major noise artifacts after ISO 400.

Given these limitations, I was quite surprised to get these results. Yes, I did tweak some of the shots in post-production. The topic of natural shot vs post-production is hotly debated amongst many photographers. I have my own opinions on the subject, but I’ll save them for a future blog post.

Thanks again to C for the Aquarium visit  (and showing me the dolphins!)

Every so often, a pump would aerate this tank, resulting in a dense burst of bubbles.

One of my favorite shots from the main jellyfish tank

A closer view of the same jellyfish

Juvenile fish foraging at the surface.

There are times when a technically imperfect image can still work.

I rested my camera on top of the glass, looking straight down into this tank.

A great minimum depth of field shot.

This particular eel seemed to be having a bad day, sour expression included.

These marmosets were quite the characters – I particularly like how the mother marmoset’s eye catches the light.

We sat watching this dolphin swimming in the tank for about half an hour. Beautiful and strangely meditative.

Night Shooting

A couple of weeks ago, our Basic Digital Photography class had an evening shoot around the Planetarium & Vanier Park. Most of these shots were my submissions for that particular assignment, but I threw in a couple of extras.

I have experimented with night photography & long exposures previously. Some results were good, some…not so good and a few turned out to be rather interesting. I’ll dig around in my archives and see what I can find.

To this day, I have no idea how I managed to achieve the zoom effect whilst having the tree remain in focus.

A statue behind the Planetarium.

Giant Paperclip at night with bursts of external flash lighting.

Extended exposure + moving the focus ring during said exposure = interesting results!

The giant metal crab sculpture in front of the Planetarium.

Colored light fixture inside the Planetarium lobby.

Photos – Basic Digital Photography Term Assignment

These are the shots I submitted for my Basic Digital Photography Term Assignment.

The brief of the assignment was to choose eight subjects out of ten and present an image embodying that particular subject. The eight I chose were:

• Portrait
• Blurring Motion
• Freezing Motion
• Maximum Depth of Field
• Minimum Depth of Field
• Backlit subject
• Rule of Thirds Landscape
• Subject/photo converted to Black & White or Sepia (I chose B&W).

I am happy to report that I got a 10/10 for the assignment!

One of my Vancouver Aquarium shots was submitted to illustrate the concept of ‘blur’.

Capture of a water fountain on the West Georgia side of the Vancouver Art Gallery.

Transmitter tower and Vancouver, as seen from Grouse Mountain.

Little eel peeking up out of the sand – Vancouver Aquarium

This magpie was hopping around on a cage housing a cockatoo and a galah in Southern Cross (Western Australia)

Dune-encrusted ruins of the Eucla Telegraph Station (Western Australia)

Shot from the side of the Eyre Highway in Western Australia (?)

Photos – Grouse Mountain

I’ve lived in Vancouver for almost three years now. It took me that long to finally pay a visit to Grouse Mountain!

Lightroom processed image, taken from the Skyride entry/exit point at the top of Grouse Mountain.

Snow & ice drops on a pine branch.

A view of the Lion’s Gate Bridge from Grouse Mountain

Looking down towards Spanish Banks. A number of ships can often be seen at anchor in Burrard Inlet and the Strait of Georgia.

A view of downtown Vancouver from Grouse Mountain.

Looking out to the west from the top of Grouse Mountain.

Your friendly neighborhood Pixie enjoys a coffee and the view.

Wood carved bear near the base of the ski runs on Grouse Mountain.

Some enterprising soul managed to trek to this section of the mountain to plant a Canadian flag.

The Lions, as seen from the Skyride capsule.

Watching the Skyride capsule descend from the lower base.

30th Birthday

In early April, I celebrated my 30th birthday.

There was a time this particular milestone seemed to be an abstraction. I remember thinking in my teens and very early 20s that 30 was ‘old’, as do most young people at that particular stage in life. During my 20s, as I went through college, worked and travelled, it was still a somewhat obscure number. I’d had thoughts that “By the time I’m 30, I’ll be doing [insert life goal here].”

Next thing I know – BANG! There it is!

The birthday weekend itself was fine – I had some quiet celebrations. I indulged myself with a massage on the Friday, followed by dinner with some friends on the Saturday night. On Sunday, after living in Vancouver for the better part of three years, I finally made it up to Grouse Mountain! As I wasn’t up for skiing or snowboarding, I just spent a couple of hours up there enjoying the view and taking photos.

To say the week that followed was not a good one would be an understatement. For about six days, I went into a deep, dark depression. As in, feeling VERY down, not wanting to do anything and other elements which I will not elaborate upon here. A couple of my Facebook status updates during this period had a number of my friends contacting me to say “Are you OK?” I am beyond grateful to those who touched base and a couple of people in particular who took the time to chat with me during this period. They know who they are

To this day, I can’t quite put my finger on a specific trigger. I suspect it was a multitude of factors: the stress of everything that’s happened in the last few months, college studies, a mild fight with the boyfriend (now resolved, thankfully) and subconscious matters regarding the thought of “Oh crap, I’m 30 years old.”

The major part of it is an awareness of time passing and one’s mortality. Granted, compared to a number of my friends, I’m still relatively young. Yet, I’m acutely aware that the clock is ticking.

During that week, I spent a good portion of time contemplating my life to date – what I have and haven’t done, the experiences I went through, all that jazz. There are times I’d wish I’d taken a different course of action. One example: in the early 2000s, I’d started on a Graphic Design & Multimedia course at TAFE in Western Australia. If I’d completed that course – rather than dropping out – I could be a well-established graphic designer (or other related media) by now. Instead, I’m a student again and scrambling for some form of employment.

However…

What would have happened if I had followed the career/corporate lifestyle early on? It’s highly likely that I would be in a far better position professionally. On a personal level, I’ve had two opportunities to be married with kids by now. I knocked both of them back. In one of those two cases, it was the bullet I dodged.

If my life hadn’t taken the major fork it did around 2003/2004,  I would have missed out on all the travelling I’ve done and the experiences I’ve had as a result of those journeys. What of the people I’ve met? What of the deviations in the path of life that has brought me to here and now?

Sure, I might not be a high-flying success (yet! ), but I’ve lived a life to date that has caused some people to envy me (why, I don’t know – trust me on this one!). I’ve moved halfway around the world under my own steam, seen and done some amazing things. Sure, there have been difficult patches and setbacks – that’s life. A dear friend said to me recently that the 20′s are the time where one is finding oneself, figuring out the world and one’s place in it. By the time the 30′s roll around, a person has a better handle on who they are, is less concerned with bullshit and generally has a better time enjoying life. I’m inclined to believe her.

Would I change the way I lived through my 20′s, and my life to date?

Hell no!

Photos – Arbutus Community Garden

My friend C & I went on a brief photo trip to the Arbutus Community Gardens back in mid-March. There’s a number of small community gardens scattered around in Vancouver. This particular garden is located near West 6th Ave & Maple Street in the Kitsilano neighborhood.

Metal spiders and web – an alternate take on climbing plant frames?

It’s photos like this that make me wish for a proper macro lens.

Experimenting with Depth of Field. I think this is a mint plant.

One thing I like to do with my photographs on occasion is isolating certain elements against the sky.

Daffodil captured in the midday sun. Spring is here!

More Depth of Field experimentation.

This particular birdhouse caught my eye, both for the cutout shape and the colors.

With this shot, I had my camera held low to the ground. I was attempting to capture a ‘bug’s eye view’ of the garden.

Edge of a shell-shaped birdbath.

I think this is a variety of purple broccoli, early in the budding stage.

A rusty mug on a stone wall.

Same mug as before, from a different angle. Have Lightroom, will travel.

I was playing with the focus on this shot, trying for a “bokeh” effect. Didn’t quite work, but still liked the result.

Whither the (Kinky) Pixie?

I seem to be forming a tradition of making blog posts every few months. I really need to work on self-discipline.

So…

I made it down to Australia and back in one piece, arriving back in Vancouver around March 7th 2010. Highlights of the Australia trip included two cross country drives, catching up with some old friends, a reunion with my boyfriend and an unpleasant incident with a kangaroo in outback New South Wales. I’ll be posting some pics and a dedicated blog about the Australia trip soon.

“Boyfriend?”, I hear readers say. That would be my ex-partner from a couple of years ago. We were together for a while prior to my move to Canada, but parted ways shortly thereafter. We didn’t speak for a while, but got back in contact in 2008 and have talked regularly ever since. During my time in Australia…well, it’s pretty obvious. At this point, it’s a case of seeing how things go. Long-distance relationships are difficult, at best, but one never knows, eh?

Since returning to Vancouver, my college studies have been my primary focus. The time and effort I’m putting in seems to be paying off. The Dreamweaver class finished last week and I submitted my final assignment last night. Fingers crossed that my self-imposed challenge of A+ marks across all Dreamweaver levels comes to fruition!

The other three classes are still in progress. Final Flash class is tonight – hoping I’m going to get a decent mark there. I’ve also been getting great marks for my photography assignments, but I won’t have the final verdicts until the end of April/early May. All the indicators are positive, though.

I’ll be taking a break from studying for a while once these four units are concluded. I’ve been at it non-stop since October last year and I need to absorb what I’ve learnt so far. The general plan for the summer is to pick up some work for a while before diving back into academia in August and September. I also need to spend more time with my camera.

A certain milestone was reached in early April: my 30th birthday. Bit of an odd time, I have to say. I had a small celebration dinner on the Saturday night, followed by my first trip to Grouse Mountain and a Canucks game on the Sunday. The following week, however…ugh, I shudder to think of it. Let’s just say “the deep dark hole” appeared and ate me for a few days. Thankfully, it’s now passed, I’m back to relative normality and feeling a lot better about things.

I also have a number of events to look forward to in the coming months. I have my friend K coming up from the States next week for a few days. It is my intention to send him back with a sore bottom, if possible. All going well, my boyfriend will be coming over for a couple of months later in the year. On top of that – Rush is touring! Woohoo!!

On another note, I’ve been reviewing my blog posts from the beginning. One thing has struck me – the lack of ‘twisted’ travels or ‘twisted’ anything to date. Plenty of ordinary travelling, yes, but not much on the kink side of things.

I can’t say I’m surprised. I’d effectively dropped out of the Vancouver community by the latter half of last year. Indeed, I’ve been to one kink event in the last six months and that was a Sin City event back in November 2009. Since then, nada.

My wager is that it’s the nature of life. Some kinky peeps are fortunate enough to be able to live the lifestyle on a regular basis. Others cycle in and out, depending on time, energy and circumstance. At this point, I’m one of the latter.

As much fun as it is to be tied up and beaten (or tying up and beating someone else! ) there are times where play winds up taking a back seat due to the demands of college, work and everyday life. It’s not to say a person has lost their kinky desires or is merely a dabbler. Far from it.  It’s just the way it is.

* * * *

Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away…
Rush – “Time Stand Still”

Layover Limbo in LAX

Thursday 11th February, 8.18pm.

The Departures Hall in the Tom Bradley International Terminal (aka Terminal 2) buzzes with activity. Incipient travellers engaging in a number of past-times. Standing in check-in lines. Watching the departures information board. Talking on cellphones or typing on computers. Wandering the upper concourse in search of food, drink or diversion from the boredom of waiting.

Out of all the food establishments, Mickey D’s has the longest lineup. Camacho’s Cantina is behind me, shuttered – renovating or out of business? Same for Sushi Boy next door.

To the left of me is a young woman on a laptop. To the right, a young man talking on his cellphone as he rummages in a fast food bag. The latest in a parade of travellers witnessed during the past six and a half hours. The sky outside has progressed from light grey to blackness, punctuated by the lights of taxis and control towers.

I entertain the thoughts of photos, of a snack, of  more internet surfing to kill the next 94 minutes. Once those 94 minutes are up, my limbo ends. I’ll find out whether I continue on to my final destination or not.

Vancouver 2010 Street Art

Images of the Vancouver 2010 Olympics “Public Street Art”.

Location: Granville Street, Vancouver (between Robson & West Georgia)

Musings of a novice web designer

It’s almost one o’clock in the morning. I’ve spent almost the entire day at the computer, working on the site overhaul for wanderingpixie.com.

So far, reasonably good. I’ve created the primary template & CSS for use across the entire site and generated all the first level pages today.  However, for the articles and photo galleries, I daresay the “Detach from Template” command in Dreamweaver may come in handy from time to time!

In conjunction with the design work, I’m also going back through my entire travel photo archive. I’ve done this before, back in 2007, whilst working on the “Phase I” version of the site. Even though I’ve just started on the Photography Certificate program at Langara, the lessons I’ve learnt so far have been invaluable. I’m cultivating the ability to be more critical and objective when it comes to my own photography. It’s an essential trait, particularly when one is sorting through about 20-30,000 photos (!)

I went through the entire 2004 archive yesterday, followed by some of the early 2005 shots today. This part of the project led to some colorful idioms spouted to the thin air and the pigeons on the balcony. Even when one takes the relative primitive capabilities of my old Vivitar digital camera into account…AGH! A major portion of the photos from that period aren’t really usable, for various reasons. Dodgy composition, blurring, you name it. Most of the shots in question are great memories for me to reflect upon personally, but they’re not really suitable for publishing them on the Internet for all to see.

If I had the ability to travel back in time – or at least, Doctor Who’s telephone number – I would go back to the early 2000s, slap myself around the head and tell myself to get cracking with some photography related studies sooner. Yes, it is true that every photographer has to start somewhere. Yet, I can’t shake the feeling of kicking myself for the lost photographic opportunities that were all but handed to me on a silver platter, particularly in Europe.

One valuable lesson I did learn in 2004 was the concept of taking charge of one’s own photographic storage. A dodgy CD burn job at a photo place in London led to the loss and/or corruption of some of my Europe and UK shots. My trip to Stonehenge was the worst casualty – only two or three photographs survive from that entire day.

If nothing else, that debacle has given me inspiration for the second of what will hopefully be many articles on wanderingpixie.com.

1.23am – all caffeine has worn off and I’m getting tired. Time to call it a night, I think.

Emerging from the Road

It’s almost horrifying to see that I haven’t posted anything since April. Self-discipline is something I REALLY need to work on.

So, life has been rather interesting – and busy – these last few months. I was working full-time for a while at the data entry center (as mentioned in the “New Job” post). I say “was”, as I received an email at the tail-end of my recent travels advising me of no work being available. Yes, I was away for 5 weeks, but give over, eh? Thank the Gods I have a partner who’s helping me out or I’d be sinking again. The price I pay for being the “Wandering Pixie”…

In July, I went to Toronto for RushCon 9. I’ve been part of the organizing committee for the past two years and it was good to catch up with my fellow Rush peeps. Notable moments include Chickenman, Random Guy, the Limelight gig, rain & shine on Toronto Island and the surprisingly lovely Michael Mosbach. Although I can’t stand the thought of ever living in Toronto, it does make for a pleasant visit.

Soon, the committee will be meeting to start planning for RushCon 10 next year. There is talk of perhaps holding it somewhere other than Toronto. Whether that comes to pass or not, time will tell, but personally I think it’ll be a good thing. A change of scenery, a breath of fresh air…all that.

On the Vancouver front, I’m now sharing an apartment with my partner. Whilst I do miss my old apartment, my current situation just made it financially untenable. Sharing a one-bedroom place does get a little cramped at times, but it’s working out quite well.

The big event of the last few months was the 5 week trip to the US from late August to early October.  My partner and I travelled together for the first part of it, from Vancouver down to the Oregon Coast, then out to Nevada for the Burning Man festival. Together being somewhat subjective – she drove the camper truck and I travelled in my own car, as I was continuing on with my travels after Burning Man.

Burning Man itself was quite an experience. It was my second burn, having lost my “burn virginity” back in 2006. There were some good moments, including:

• Ranging out into deep playa on my bike.
• Flying my kite in various locations on the playa.
• Meeting up with George & Gloria again. They’re a lovely couple from Texas who come to the burn every year and are famous for their friendliness, hospitality and breakfast pancakes. Indeed, George introduced me (and my ex-partner/friend Kevin) to the concept of Carolan’s in coffee).
• Bumping into Lady Laughter & Calico at the Temple Burn. (Another couple I met in 2006).
• Quiet time and personal tributes to loved ones at the Temple.
• Dancing my butt off at Opulent Temple.
• “Fire Night” – watching a number of fire performances around the playa, including our neighbour Jim from Florida and the Flaming Lotus Girls.
• John – a guy with whom I had a very interesting conversation out near the playa fence.
• The deep playa drumkit and Hippy Guy.
• Painting myself blue and tearing around the playa on Friday afternoon (including my black pixie wings). This was followed later that evening by a clean-up attempt that lead to the shower cubicle being dubbed the “Exploding Smurf Chamber.”
• Self-bondage & the viking helmet.
• Making a contribution at Picasso Camp.
• Taking an accidental swandive off the back of the camper and onto the playa on Friday night, leaving a heck of a playa mark (which I had to remove by hand) and two trips to the Med Tent. Props to November Anne for the initial first aid!
• Lunatics at the Burning Man (which took FOREVER to come down!)
• Random Conversations. This was my partner’s initiative – we couldn’t settle down on the Saturday night, so at about 5am, we went meandering about on the playa, having random conversations with people and polishing off an entire bottle of wine in the process. Definitely one of the highlights of the burn, not to mention that it’s possibly the first time in my life that I’ve been inebriated at eight o’clock in the morning.
• The Temple Burn.

Overall, a mostly positive experience. However, there were the occasional downsides. There was some personal conflict between myself and my partner during the week, not to mention the dust storms from hell. By Friday, the interior of the camper was an absolute dustbowl. Rather than stressing about it, one gets to the point of simply accepting the fact that playa dust is now a part of oneself. You eat it, breathe it, drink it, sleep in it. It’s simply part and parcel of the whole experience.

Despite my still relative newness to the Burn, I did detect a change in the ‘vibe’ of the event since 2006. Part of it may be a result of no longer having the first-timer’s “Wow!” reaction to everything, but I definitely felt a difference. It seemed that the event was being taken over by the candy-raver/tourist/”let’s go out to the desert and party for a week” crowd. Whilst that element has certainly been present at Burning Man for many years now, it seemed to be much more prevalent this year, crowding out the artists and community-builders. Maybe the event is getting too big or too mainstream, but if the trend is not reversed, the artists will go elsewhere and BM will simply become nothing more than a rave in the desert.

Having said that, there is a possibility I will attend again next year. I’ve certainly learned a few lessons from this year’s experience:

• Camper vans are a cool idea, but when the battery runs out, you may as well have hired a cargo van.
• Kite flying is fun!
• Stay away from the blue greasepaint! Maybe the silver powder may come in handy next year…
• Buy half (if not less) the amount of food – we bought WAY too much food! I wound up taking some of it down to New Mexico with me and donating it to Kevin’s pantry.
• Have an IUD implanted by the time the next burn rolls around so I’m not poleaxed with period cramps for the first 3 days (this seems to be becoming a playa tradition for me).
• Take better photos – scout more, get creative and use the damn tripod!

* * *

Following Burning Man and a turbulent night in Reno, I proceeded south via the east side of Nevada. I’ve always wanted to drive the Extraterrestrial Highway and check out Rachel, Nevada, thanks to it’s proximity to Area 51. Ergo, a good time to take the roads less travelled. On the way, I got pulled over near Hawthorne for speeding (all hail the great god Leadfoot?) but got let off with a warning.

Thanks to the late departure from Reno, the light ran out, so I pulled over for the night in Tonopah, Nevada. My accommodation for the night was the amusingly monikered Clown Motel, named for the collection of clown paraphernalia amassed by the original owner. The collection is now arranged in the main lobby area of the hotel. Some cute, some downright creepy. Dinner that night led me to the conclusion that small casino dining is nothing to write home about. Thankfully, the breakfast the next morning was somewhat more palatable.

The road out to Rachel was one of the loneliest highways I’ve ever encountered during my daytime trips in the US. Barely any traffic for miles, which made for a happy wandering pixie! Mostly desert and ranchlands, with the occasional cattle crossing.

I stopped by the Little Ale’Inn. It turned out to be rather cheesy – a lot of overpriced ‘souvenirs’ and a few UFO photos and articles. Not quite what I’d expected, really. From there, I went through Las Vegas, saw the Hoover Dam (finally!) and hit I-40 west through Arizona to land at my friend Kevin’s place in New Mexico. Wound up overnighting in Flagstaff after attracting police attention again. This time, though, it was for a dead license plate light, a small problem easily remedied the next morning at the Goodyear shop near the Super 8 motel.

New Mexico is a place that has been rather dear to my wandering self since my first visits way back in 2005. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but there is certainly an energy down there. Maybe it’s the desert landscapes, the mountains (Sandia in particular), the unusual clarity and vividness of the sky, the friendliness of the people…who knows. It’s no mistake that New Mexico has a large population of artists, photographers and other creative types. I’ve said for a long time now that if I had the chance to live in the US, New Mexico is where I would go.

I spent a very pleasant two weeks around the Albuquerque area. Unfortunately, Kevin & I didn’t get to do much together, thanks to his punishing work schedule, but we were able to get away to Santa Fe on the first weekend. The goal of the trip was a day at the Ten Thousand Waves day spa, just the thing I needed after the rigors of Burning Man. A day spent soaking in the tubs, having a wonderful massage and an all-over salt scrub helped to wash the playa away. We timed it pretty well – the Santa Fe Fiesta was happening at the same time. Food stalls, street markets, parades, the town was packed! I was also re-introduced to the joys of New Mexican cuisine at the Blue Corn Cafe, just off the Plaza. I swear, the chili is that good, you walk out feeling high!

Whilst I did spend a fair bit of time on the house front, helping Kevin get his apartment set up, I also took the time to explore the Albuquerque area. Checked out Old Town, the Albuquerque Museum, the Balloon Museum, Petroglyph National Monument and rounded it all off with a trip up to the top of Sandia Peak the day before my departure. Spectacular views over Albuquerque and surrounds, but by the Gods it was COLD! (Note to self: bring a jacket next time).

Refreshed from my New Mexican sojourn, I struck out on what would become the Epic Drive of ’09, crisscrossing the bulk of the continental US and Canada. On the way…

• I captured a beautiful New Mexican sunset with my camera.
• Had my second speeding warning whilst crossing the Texas panhandle.
• Witnessed the morning mists in Arkansas.
• Got woken up from an afternoon nap attempt by a local high school parade in Kansas City, Missouri. I also went on a fruitless goosechase in downtown Kansas City whilst looking for the Central Public Library. The library carpark is painted to look like books on a shelf, a point of interest to my photographer self.
• Went stomping through mud in sidewalk roadworks whilst taking photos of a church and the Arch in St. Louis, Missouri.

The evening/day I drove from western Ohio to southern New York state would have to rate as one of the all-time driving days from hell. Whilst the lightning storms around Columbus were suitably spectacular, the pounding rain, the endless stream of trucks, roadworks on Interstate 80 and crazy Pennsylvanian drivers made for a rather miserable day. I breathed a massive sigh of relief as I entered New York state and later turned north on I-87.

The primary aim of this part of the trip was to meet and spend time with a dear friend who lives in the top part of the state. We’ve been acquainted for a couple of years, thanks to the magic of cyberspace and phones, but never wound up meeting in person…until now. Even though it was a fairly low-key visit, it was still good to see him and hang out with him. He’s been having rough times for a while now and whilst I do worry for him, I think he’ll be OK eventually. His dog was also an absolute sweetie – barked at me for 5 minutes, then became my new best friend.

I do know this – given the drive that followed, the next trip I take over to that part of the US WILL involve a plane flight to Montreal!

* * *

I’ll be posting pics from various legs of the journey in the coming days & weeks. All I will say for now about the final leg of the journey is this: 3,027 miles – 6 provinces – 93 hours.

Never again!

Disgusted

I’ve been involved with the Vancouver BDSM scene for about a year now, both as a helper and participant. Albeit with two hiatus periods in between.

In that time, I’ve had a number of experiences, mostly positive, a couple with negative aftermaths. That’s the way it rolls, eh? Overall, it’s been good times to date. I’ve been very fortunate to make a number of friends here, some very close, others a little more distant but all people with good hearts and intentions at the end of the day.

I am content with doing my own thing, bopping along as my pixie self is wont to do, at various parties, munches and gatherings. I do hear pieces of gossip and scuttlebutt from time to time, but on the whole I prefer to keep myself apart from the scene politics.

Given what I’ve witnessed in recent times, I’m glad to have taken that path.

When I first became involved, I will confess to having the mildly Pollyanna-esque thought that it would be one big happy kinky community. I was disabused of that notion early on in the piece, but nonetheless thought that a relatively small scene such as Vancouver would ascribe to the principle of “agreeing to disagree” whenever people were at odds with each other, for whatever reason. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Whenever there are a number of groups in existence that have conflicting ideals, goals or visions in place, it would seem somewhat unrealistic to expect everyone to “just get along”. Our own human natures hamstring that particular ideal, yet there is still room for respect for others, cordiality and perhaps even positive inter-communication. Sadly, again, this is not the case.

The amount of venom, childishness and outright attacks on people I have witnessed in reality and virtuality just blows me away. You’d think it’s a hard enough time to exist as kinky peeps in a world where much of what we do can be easily twisted, misinterpreted or appropriated by mainstream society. Yet I see people who should be acting like mature adults running around acting like the proverbial bullying kids in the schoolyard. People are jumped on for voicing an alternative opinion or attacked outright for daring to speak up and call others out on bullshit or to defy the often self-proclaimed authority of a few.

Such behavior is puerile at best, but when it’s gotten to the point where two of my friends have been effectively run off a website and gone to ground in reality…that’s just beyond the fucking pale.

Whatever happened to common decency and respect? Whatever happened to the idea of agreeing to disagree with the opinions of others? Whatever happened to the idea of tolerance, of allowing others to be what they choose to say, or be, for themselves?

Just chill out and grow up.

To those of you who are also witnessing the endless drama, I say: Take heart.

There are good people to be found here. They may be a little quieter, a little less visible, but they are here.

That is all.

New Job…

Yes, I know – an update is sorely needed. I really need to get back up to speed vis-a-vis photos.

In the meantime, I’m rejoicing, for I am now employed again. Hurrah!

Still in the trial period at the moment, but it’s looking VERY good indeed! The job is evening shift, doing something for which I seem to have a natural talent – data entry. The pay…could be better, but that will come in time. Besides, a job where it’s casual dress, that works in with my natural bio-rhythms and allows me to listen to music whilst I work – it’s groovy for me.

Overall, I’m just relieved to be working again! If all works out with this job, it might just save my Canadian life. Sure, I won’t be living the high life for a while and any travels I do in the near future will be relatively frugal, but better to have some funds coming in the door than nothing at all.

I have to say, I’m feeling a lot better overall these days. After getting the “lose weight” order from my doctor a few weeks ago, I’ve started walking and/or swimming on a regular basis. It’ll take a while for the benefits to kick in fully, but apparently it looks like I’m losing a few pounds already.

Living in the West End has it’s benefits, thanks to the proximity of Lost Lagoon, English Bay and Stanley Park. The rise and fall of the streets also presents an interesting challenge, albeit one that I’m overcoming. My stamina is improving and I’m now at the point where I’m merely breathing heavily (ha ha) after an extended uphill walk. A few weeks ago, it was a case of gasping for air and having to stop every block or so.

On top of that, my kinky side has been relatively neglected of late. Apart from one or two play sessions (one public, one private), I really haven’t been doing much over the last couple of months. To be fair, there have been other issues taking up my time and energy, but I do need to reactivate that part of myself again. Been too long, sayin’? Honestly – if it wasn’t for the plastic container, my rope collection would be full of dust bunnies by now – eek!

Besides, it’s high time I brought some kink ramblings into the mix – without them, the “Travels” aren’t really that “Twisted”, are they?

Photos – Lost Lagoon

Still quiet days at the moment, but starting to get better. Last weekend turned out to be a lot of fun and it’s helped to lift my spirits somewhat. I sense a future journal entry in the making…

In the meantime, here’s a few shots taken at Lost Lagoon a few days ago, plus a leftover orange from a preceding breakfast at Joe’s Grill.

After all these years, I’ve finally dived into the deep end of shooting RAW, rather than JPEG. I’ve downloaded a trial version of Adobe Lightroom, which helps with the conversion process.

Enjoy!

Catch-up & Black Dogs

So much for getting back to “daily photos”.

It’s been a rough month, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I’ve hit the proverbial brick wall and consequently spent most of February in hermit mode. The madness of the last few months finally caught up with me in a big way. There have been days in a row where I haven’t left my apartment at all.

I’m feeling a general sense of hopelessness about many things at the moment. Losing two jobs after the scooter accident and the resultant medical bills have now left me behind the eight ball financially. Work is very hard to come by in the current economic climate and I’m going backwards in a big way.

As it stands right now, if I don’t get some form of regular work within the next month or so, there is a possibility that I may have to go back to Australia for a while. I’m now living on reserves only, to the point where I’m literally paying to live in Canada. That was not the idea behind me being here in the first place. Living on my own funds whilst travelling is one thing, but not on a day-to-day regular basis. I do want to try and stick it out for a while longer, if I can. Part of it is because I have an apartment lease to consider, but I’m feeling that having to return to Australia in these circumstances would amount to defeat.

I’m also feeling wrung out, mentally and emotionally. There are days where I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I barely recognize myself. I feel empty, a shell of myself, of the Pixie I used to be.

I was going back through pieces of a travel journal I kept during the USA/Canada epic wander of 2005. Looking back at my younger self, s/he was also conflicted, but at least s/he had a sense of hope and energy. I wonder whatever happened to that Pixie…

How it’ll all pan out, I really have no idea at this point. It’s just day by day at this point.

At the very least, I’m starting to make some effort to salvage the 365 project. The four shots below are grabbed from random snaps taken throughout the rest of February.

Catching up on the 365

Some random “365″ shots from late January and early February.

Starting tomorrow, it’s back to daily photos!

Driven to Distraction / Australia Trip

Life has a nasty habit of getting in the way of plans from time to time. Not to mention my own habit of taking my eye off the ball…

It’s been a pretty turbulent few weeks. My return trip to Australia stirred up a lot for me, to the point where I’m feeling torn between two countries. “Confusion” isn’t an adequate enough term to describe the inner turmoil that now plagues me. My return to Canada also saw a major life change that served to stir the pot even more.

I’m now at a point where my 20s are almost over. The Wandering Pixie will be turning 5 years old at the end of March. That’s five years of aimlessly meandering around the world, searching for a purpose in life. As much as I’ve learned during that time through the people I’ve met, the places I’ve seen and the travels I’ve done to date, it’s becoming obvious that something has to change.

One of my biggest problems with life, or perhaps one of my failures, is an inability to find a sense of direction. Personally, professionally, the works. I feel as if I’ve just been stumbling along these last few years and not really getting anywhere. To be fair to myself, yes I’ve done a lot (including an international move!) and I’ve got some kick-ass pictures in the process, but I NEED to find a focus.

Suffice to say, 2009 is going to be a turning point for me in a big way.

So…

The Australia trip turned out better than I’d expected in some respects. Got to spend a little time with my dad and his partner (who is most groovy!) before heading down to Victoria to sort out the mess. In a nutshell – got most of my stuff back and sorted out and in the process, reconnected and formed a beautiful friendship with my former partner. Woohoo!

In lieu of the rest of the January “Photos of the Day”, here’s a few random shots from the trip. It’s a random mix of Interstate 5 driving, Australia and Napa Valley…

On the road again…

Made it down to Australia in one piece. Currently wading through and sorting nearly 30 years worth of crap. Yay for my friend in Victoria for being such a good sport about it all!

I haven’t forgotten the 365 photo project, just been flat out since I hit the ground in Australia last Sunday (local time). I’ll be catching up soon, though…

Scattered…

Another post-sunset shot today. I call this one “Leftovers”

Can’t really think too clearly at the moment. On tenterhooks, waiting for funds to come through, the clock is ticking…

Hurrah for Mirrors…

Thanks to various distractions today, I lost out on natural light for my Photo of the Day. Ergo, time for a momentary flash of inspiration involving me, my camera and my partner’s bathroom mirror.

I call this one “Under Stress”…

Getting a little anxious and scattered in the lead-up to the Australia trip. My partner says I have nothing to worry about. True, to a degree, but I do have a fair bit to do before I leave. It’s not just mirrors but also the concept of lists that are worth a “hurrah!”. Having a list of “Things to Do” helps one’s state of mind immeasurably.